You’re my friend and you care about me, and that means that you want me to feel better.
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But please, after you give me a hug and before you sit down, take that pressure off yourself. When I lost someone who took up a lot of space in my heart, my heart felt like it was completely torn out of my chest and trampled on. And that’s not something that can be fixed with a few well-intended words. I know you want me to feel happy again, but right now I’m just not okay, and I probably won’t be for a really long time. And that’s okay.
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I don’t need you to fix it, and I don’t want you to feel like you’re supposed to try to.
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And so, just as I need your friendship to walk with me through this valley, I also need you to trust God to be the one to slowly mend this gaping wound in HIS timing.
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Please don’t tell me that this is all part of His good plans for my life, because right now my pain is too fresh to dwell on how this could be a good thing. Instead, I need you to let Him be the one to reveal how He will turn these ashes into more than what feels like pain and anger and doubt and fear - more than the desire to throw something glass against the wall just so I won’t be the only thing in this room that’s been shattered.
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You know, Karisa, this is exactly how I have been praying for you for months now. That God, our Heavenly Father, sends comfort to your heart, because it's obvious that I can't, and He is the only One Who can. I don't say this because your grieving makes me uncomfortable (it doesn't) or that I think you should "get over this and move on". (God doesn't send trials of this magnitude and expect us to go back to how we were before). But I say this because of God, and Who He is. I say this because God has promised not to leave us comfortless. God has given us hope, so that we don't mourn as those who have no hope. Really, all of our life (and death) is all about Him, and His work in our lives. Hugs!!! (and continued prayers!!)
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